Jacques Manwell Du Tronc was born in French Guiana in 194...
As his mother used to say, he was born in a kettle, and since his tender childhood he felt that his family was a bit different: himself was born being a nerd.
Also his mom, Arthura Du Tronc, was a tad strange?
On the other hand, his father, Rodondendro Matilda Du Tronc, had constant problems with his health: he had two hearts, and a tit on his left knee.
Jacques Manwell (error of his parents, who wanted to name him Manuel, but just wrote it wrong), he was known as 'Manolo' since his childhood, and loved to play guitar (also he played with his ass). Here is his first band: "The Retards", that was 1964, and the beatlemania provoked already massive cerebral injuries worldwide.
After this idiocy, Manolo formed several bands (always a go-go), like "The Losers", "The Brisks"...
...the duo "Two Are Multitude", with Bernardo Neustadt...
... or "Los Fliters", in Spain, band that was dipersed several times by the Francoist police by means of flamethrowers and catapults. All the members were sent to jail, where they were kept without water and with a stick inserted in the arse for 4 months.
Another Manolo's band was "Fast Wank", formed during an excursion of Du Tronc to the UK. Their style was too sensual, and they were banned: finally all the band members had to exile in the Corporative Republic of Zimbabwe.
The drummer, especially -Jackie Thrustsoft-, who was a ladiesman, was caught and sent to jail for 42 years, accused of immorality: in fact he was released one week ago.
The last band formed by Manolo Du Tronc was "The Sucking Sock", they played some gigs in France & Italy, but the bassist, Richard Nixon died horribly electrocuted during a show: he was carbonized alive, in front of a laughing audience (they thought it was a stage trick).
Truly tired and sad with this disaster, Manolo starts a solo career as prefabricated idol for teenage girls: he recorded a single with 2 fraudulent pop songs, but the sales were nonexistent, Manolo was desperate and didn't know what to do anymore (is in this moment when he starts doing drugs, especially injectable bleech, and smokeable gomina).
One night, totally alcoholized, dare one say, trashed, at the flagitious club Il Pasticchio Vil, in Paris, Manolo was dancing to a Sonny & Cher's tune with his pants down, when suddenly appeared the Paraguayan performer Margarito Tereré on stage, who introduced a brand new show of heavy mental, absolute novelty for the time. The noisy music, the leather and the sado-masochist outfits made Manolo freak out.
Du Tronc returned home in trance, and composed 79 songs in 3 hours, all 'heavy mental' styled:
now he found his north and orientation, and would take it to the limit.
Suddenly Manolo Du Tronc changed his look, which -for the 70s- was very outrageous and menacing, wearing black leather and sunglasses like a cunt.
In that moment Manolo Du Tronc had a personality crisis, and started wearing strange sunglasses a la Rod Stewart (famous rocker of the time), his music changed: from heavy mental, to progressive-technokrautrock-heavy metal-experimental-proto punk.
He started playing live with a band of midgets who used to set their arses on fire during the shows: this was called his 'experimental epoch'.
The shows became too strange at the time, the punk rock was the new fashion and the people wanted outrage and insults, but Manolo just gave them 'space rock' and experimental bullshit... Manolo was totally into the alcohol in this epoch, and he wished to put all his alcoholic nightmares on a stage, using FX, guillotines, plastic boas that devoured him live and alive, and then vomited him, midgets disguised as aliens from the outer space and more.
The musicians had sex on stage, hogs and goats were sacrificed live, and also black masses were celebrated during the gigs, with Manolo serving as Pope.
Manolo was furious, angry, he was another person, an animal, yes that: he was an animal.
Within an inch and quickly, Manolo Du Tronc formed a band to make 'heavy mental', the name he chose was quite uninspired: "Storm Warrior", Manolo recruited some wankers, low life and offenders, and could finally release his first album: "The clit of your mama", album that reached a fulminatory success in Europe, but it was banned in the US, appearing his censored version only, as seen on the picture:
A second album, idiotically entitled "Heavy metal fire" was released, with frenetic success all over the world, and millionaire sales.
Manolo Du Tronc finally had a marathonic worldwide tour during 24 months non-stop, playing in places like Mongolia, Perú, the Belgian Congo, or Canelones, Uruguay. Manolo reached the status of genuine myth in the glam metal world, and was called the new Alice Cooper, by a newspaper, but he rejected that moniker, and burned the newspaper offices to the ground, though he was not sent to jail this time, because he was famous.
In 1985 someone said, on a shitty TV show, that Manolo Du Tronc looked like a female singer (the name of the singer is not important for the story), the commentator made fun of Du Tronc, showing a video, and comparing Manolo with that singer... unfortunately Du Tronc was watching that programme:
full of ire and furor (and fueled by 19 litres of vodka) Du Tronc ran to the TV station with his band, determined to do something terrible.
This is the moment when Manolo and the band arrive to the TV station: someone called for the police to stop the beast and his bloodlust, but...
... but it was too late: Manolo already catches the journalist who said that retarded gossip, and shatters him alive in 27 pieces with his knife, and then, after this macabre, nefarious, insupportable, abysmal event, Manolo devoured the dismembered corpse of the misfortunate columnist "on air", raw and without salt.
After these horrifid though impune deeds, something really enigmatic made him -finally- quit the music forever... in the middle of the winter Manolo Du Tronc was making a huge penis with snow: suddenly he had a heart attack, due to the cold: -79ºc, so he was taken in ambulance to the hospital, where the doctors could barely save his life, or as Du Tronc later would say: "Saved by the skin of my teeth".
One day later Manolo abandoned officially his career as outraging metalhead:
jaw-droppingly, the same day, an UFO abducted him while he was walking by the street, this is the image:
Here we have a second image from the abduction, taken from another angle, with a high-precision camera
Also his pet, a rheumatic kitten got terribly scared seeing the abduction, fact that was (like any supernatural thing coming from the Sun or maybe Venus) terrible and scary.
And you see now (yes you) how a life of crimes and excesses ends. See? Eh?
Sooner or later the vicious criminal has to pay: probably Manolo Du Tronc is in HELL now (I'm not sure, though), but yeah ladies & ladies: this is how the wicked end.
... or "Los Fliters", in Spain, band that was dipersed several times by the Francoist police by means of flamethrowers and catapults. All the members were sent to jail, where they were kept without water and with a stick inserted in the arse for 4 months.
Another Manolo's band was "Fast Wank", formed during an excursion of Du Tronc to the UK. Their style was too sensual, and they were banned: finally all the band members had to exile in the Corporative Republic of Zimbabwe.
The drummer, especially -Jackie Thrustsoft-, who was a ladiesman, was caught and sent to jail for 42 years, accused of immorality: in fact he was released one week ago.
The last band formed by Manolo Du Tronc was "The Sucking Sock", they played some gigs in France & Italy, but the bassist, Richard Nixon died horribly electrocuted during a show: he was carbonized alive, in front of a laughing audience (they thought it was a stage trick).
Truly tired and sad with this disaster, Manolo starts a solo career as prefabricated idol for teenage girls: he recorded a single with 2 fraudulent pop songs, but the sales were nonexistent, Manolo was desperate and didn't know what to do anymore (is in this moment when he starts doing drugs, especially injectable bleech, and smokeable gomina).
Nonetheless, the destiny would give him a chance... a strange chance...
One night, totally alcoholized, dare one say, trashed, at the flagitious club Il Pasticchio Vil, in Paris, Manolo was dancing to a Sonny & Cher's tune with his pants down, when suddenly appeared the Paraguayan performer Margarito Tereré on stage, who introduced a brand new show of heavy mental, absolute novelty for the time. The noisy music, the leather and the sado-masochist outfits made Manolo freak out.
Du Tronc returned home in trance, and composed 79 songs in 3 hours, all 'heavy mental' styled:
now he found his north and orientation, and would take it to the limit.
Suddenly Manolo Du Tronc changed his look, which -for the 70s- was very outrageous and menacing, wearing black leather and sunglasses like a cunt.
Manolo recorded 97 demos, all rejected by 798 record companies, but he didn't give up.
In that moment Manolo Du Tronc had a personality crisis, and started wearing strange sunglasses a la Rod Stewart (famous rocker of the time), his music changed: from heavy mental, to progressive-technokrautrock-heavy metal-experimental-proto punk.
He started playing live with a band of midgets who used to set their arses on fire during the shows: this was called his 'experimental epoch'.
The shows became too strange at the time, the punk rock was the new fashion and the people wanted outrage and insults, but Manolo just gave them 'space rock' and experimental bullshit... Manolo was totally into the alcohol in this epoch, and he wished to put all his alcoholic nightmares on a stage, using FX, guillotines, plastic boas that devoured him live and alive, and then vomited him, midgets disguised as aliens from the outer space and more.
The musicians had sex on stage, hogs and goats were sacrificed live, and also black masses were celebrated during the gigs, with Manolo serving as Pope.
Back then he used to wear massive silvery heels, and he resorted to a new and shocking trick on stage: walking on chickens with his huge heels, shattering the poor animals alive.
The horrid affair went too far and it appeared on TV, Manolo was accused of cruelty and perversity, and sent to jail during one year: his experimental epoch ended brusquely.
In 1980 he was released from jail, and came back, hungry for la revanche, changing drastically his look in the process, as the image shows:
The horrid affair went too far and it appeared on TV, Manolo was accused of cruelty and perversity, and sent to jail during one year: his experimental epoch ended brusquely.
In 1980 he was released from jail, and came back, hungry for la revanche, changing drastically his look in the process, as the image shows:
Manolo was furious, angry, he was another person, an animal, yes that: he was an animal.
Within an inch and quickly, Manolo Du Tronc formed a band to make 'heavy mental', the name he chose was quite uninspired: "Storm Warrior", Manolo recruited some wankers, low life and offenders, and could finally release his first album: "The clit of your mama", album that reached a fulminatory success in Europe, but it was banned in the US, appearing his censored version only, as seen on the picture:
A second album, idiotically entitled "Heavy metal fire" was released, with frenetic success all over the world, and millionaire sales.
Manolo Du Tronc finally had a marathonic worldwide tour during 24 months non-stop, playing in places like Mongolia, Perú, the Belgian Congo, or Canelones, Uruguay. Manolo reached the status of genuine myth in the glam metal world, and was called the new Alice Cooper, by a newspaper, but he rejected that moniker, and burned the newspaper offices to the ground, though he was not sent to jail this time, because he was famous.
In 1985 someone said, on a shitty TV show, that Manolo Du Tronc looked like a female singer (the name of the singer is not important for the story), the commentator made fun of Du Tronc, showing a video, and comparing Manolo with that singer... unfortunately Du Tronc was watching that programme:
full of ire and furor (and fueled by 19 litres of vodka) Du Tronc ran to the TV station with his band, determined to do something terrible.
This is the moment when Manolo and the band arrive to the TV station: someone called for the police to stop the beast and his bloodlust, but...
... but it was too late: Manolo already catches the journalist who said that retarded gossip, and shatters him alive in 27 pieces with his knife, and then, after this macabre, nefarious, insupportable, abysmal event, Manolo devoured the dismembered corpse of the misfortunate columnist "on air", raw and without salt.
Notwithstanding, Manolo was not sent to jail, because he, now, was quite a famous person, though he had to pay a bail (9 Francs), because the cannibalism is illegal in France since 1976.
After these horrifid though impune deeds, something really enigmatic made him -finally- quit the music forever... in the middle of the winter Manolo Du Tronc was making a huge penis with snow: suddenly he had a heart attack, due to the cold: -79ºc, so he was taken in ambulance to the hospital, where the doctors could barely save his life, or as Du Tronc later would say: "Saved by the skin of my teeth".
Du Tronc swore solemnly to abandon the rock music, the crime, the bestiality and the excess, because, as he said: "It was a sign."
One day later Manolo abandoned officially his career as outraging metalhead:
jaw-droppingly, the same day, an UFO abducted him while he was walking by the street, this is the image:
Here we have a second image from the abduction, taken from another angle, with a high-precision camera
Also his pet, a rheumatic kitten got terribly scared seeing the abduction, fact that was (like any supernatural thing coming from the Sun or maybe Venus) terrible and scary.
Nobody saw Manolo Du Tronc anymore, no never, never; never ever.
And you see now (yes you) how a life of crimes and excesses ends. See? Eh?
Sooner or later the vicious criminal has to pay: probably Manolo Du Tronc is in HELL now (I'm not sure, though), but yeah ladies & ladies: this is how the wicked end.
And it's a sad, sad story indeed, but let me go now to prepare some churros, please.
No hay comentarios:
Publicar un comentario