Semblance

I will try to say something about myself now... well, my family comes from the mountains of northern Spain, inhabited by elves, giants, nymphs, dwarves, harpies, phantasmal spectres and any sort of hirsute creatures, who share brusquely the environment with the few humans (hirsute too) who dare to live over there since the dawn of times.

The weather of the area is hot and dry, the winters are polar though, and these peculiar characteristics arouse, dare one say, a rather laconic, if not brutal idiosyncrasy on the aboriginal human, and according to said idiosyncrasy I was raised: the only vocable I knew until my eleventh year of life was "MU", and this is when I started going to school.

Due to a rampant and strange ability to read everything at high speed, I turned into an unbearable prick in two years time, since my first scholar incursion.
Searching for something of that basic thrill, I decided to travel the world, toward that old land to see what the fuck.
The world turned into a small handkerchief to me, and as soon as I arrived to northern Iberia, I had to fight against two powerful dwarves, a muscular giant, and a menacing and evil black fairy, monsters I finally killed thanks to a thing called Winchester.
Not to mention three harpies who everyday passed by flying and shat on my meal (I was living in the wilderness back then, in January, with -25ºc): with a mechanical device I could finally catch and tie those annoying harpies, and then I took them to the nearest police station, where they were caged by the only policeman of the town.

The mountains of northern Spain are dangerous because of the numerous mythologic beings who overpopulate these provinces, and who, often, arouse incidents, mostly due to their primitive, bestial instincts... besides the rainy condition of the mountain jungles.
Such humidity, turn ogres, fairies, giants and elves into lecherous and perverse creatures: is not uncommon to see the Spanish Army intervening to quench the appetite for sex and violence of these abominable desperadoes who, after all, are citizens.
Over here, there's a common proverb: "Like an ogre in heat"... such atmosphere of permanent violence and scandal turned the region into the most retarded part of the country.



Thanks, good night.