Life, crimes, and due punishment of the group KIS

KIS was formed in Barnegat, NJ, United States, in 1975 by Gene "Beach" Simmons and Paul "Port" Stanley, two charlatans who escaped from the perfidious England to create their abominable band.
Apparently, KIS either stands for "KEEP IT SUAVE" or "KINGS IN SWEATSHIRT!".
They recruited two session musicians who would play live only for pizza: five-year old guitarist "Ace" Fehley (Wilde, Partido de Avellaneda, 1970), and senior drummer Peter Crysf (Charleston, 1915), who was 60.

One of the first visual tricks of KIS was walking with massive high heels on defenceless chicks onstage, which denoted an extreme cruelty and villainy, not to mention a variety of horrible devices, like spitting blood, by Simmons.

According to journalist Leo Vanés, the blood came from the pigs that KIS killed onstage, with a big knife, during the song "I Love It Loud" ("Me Gusta Fuerte"), a Simmons's song about his preference for all things thrilling and pasmosas, like driving his car at high speed and colliding into trees, walking naked in Barnegat public library, or pooping on everybody's head from the top of the Empire State Building.

According to Jerry Lewis, the cover of "Hot in the Shade" came from some obscure rituals that Simmons and Stanley imported from Egypt, which included flying bones and dangerous vampires.[sic]

It's a well-known fact that singer Paul Stanley underwent an atrocious plastic surgery (in this case is cosmetic surgery): his hands were cut with a saw, and the hands of a woman (recently deceased) were sewn in the stumps. On the other hand, a strange hormonal imbalance cause Stanley's excessive chest hair and makes him sweat five times more than an average man, reason why he takes five showers a day.

During a show in 1977, "Ace" Ferley, who was notoriously drunk, fell into an unfathomable pit in the stage.
No-one knew why that pit was there, and the rest of the band were searching for him during three days.
Finally Frehley appeared in the baggage compartment of the tour bus. After this nonsense Freeley was fired and substituted with NYC guitarist Vinnie Gene (birth name Vincent Italiamo).

By this time, strange rumours about bassist Gene "Beach" Simmons started circulating, like he cut the tendons of his tongue to roll it out like a monitor lizard. But the most insistent rumour was about Simmons's private island where he took people to torture them.
One of his victims was the famous singer Julio Iglesias, French crooner whose white pants and suave manners Simmons hated.

In spite of all this rampant, almost idiotic success, KIS's career came soon to an end when the 'disco music' started contaminating every groove of their albums "Die Nasty" and "Unmaskt", two records from the late '70s that signalled a complete loss of credibility for the band.
After this debacle Crysf was fired, and momentarily substituted with a muppet who looked quite a lot like him.
After a short tour through Angola, Uraguay, Brazil, and Ecuador, the muppet was fired, and a human drummer came in: Eric Casoglio.

But the stupid moves of Simmons and Stanley, like recording a pompous symphonic rock album that the fans unanimously rejected, put them on the edge of disbandment, a reason why they decided to call Freeley back to the band to record a heavy-metal album and, in an extreme move, take off their trademark make-up's, playing from now on with their washed faces.

The very end came in 1984 after Freelhey died drunk choking on his own vomit while driving a motorcycle which collided into a wall at the same time, accident which caused a collateral disaster including the explosion of six buses and one inflatable Ronald Reagan dummy.
Consternated, Simmons and Stanley decided to call it quits, and after moving to Las Vegas, changed their names legally to Genetico Simoni and Paolo Stani, and opened a giant cheese shop with their savings, "Gene & Paolo's Provoletta".

And this is how, this is how the excesses and sins of rock and roll end, ladies and gents, sadly and in Hell. Or in Las Vegas, which is more or less the same.

Life, crimes, and due punishment of the group KIS.