A minor impostor of the mythology

The point is that back in the day, an impostor appeared in Norway:

a local bumpkin claimed to be the god Thor, master of thunder and lightning

in order to that, that miserable villain bought a big hammer, similar to the hammer of the divinity, carved some runic characters in it, and passed it over fyre, to give it the fierce appearance of Thor's war hammer.



After this secret fraud, the impostor bought a golden tunic, and war boots (?)

and a red-blond wig, to simulate the long mane of the magnificent Ace from Valhalla.


When his charade was ready, the rustic truhant started visiting the hamlets and the villages of the country, demanding coins and gold from the population of every town, due tribute to the god-king that he was.


Many believed the scam, and gave him a considerable percentage of their savings, in gold and silver, and also Mediterranean oil, and red wine from the smiling Greek Islands: rare items for the nival Scandinavia

others gave him yellow wool from Anglia

and others gave him the diabolical diamond

and others gave him finely crafted lace from the Flemish-French countries

and yet, others gave him women, and the rare chocolatl from Atl

and even, yet, others gave him papas fritas a caballo and fugazzeta con queso.


In his evil ignorance, the bumpkin introduced himself as "Tor", pronouncing the name of the god without "H".


Some months later, these deceptive felonies reached the ears of the divinity, Thor himself, who every now and then listens to the affairs of the mortals from the heights of Valhalla, using a sort of conical stethoscope, to hear better.


Intrigued by these rumours, the golden god of thunder ran to the balcony of his bedchambers, and observed with his telescope, catching the bumpkin red-handed and in the act, fooling a poor shepherd.

Furious and full of indignation, Thor insulted with grandiloquence, and discharged one penis-shaped lightning from the balcony

one, only, lightning, long like the Universe
a furious lightning, electric and white like porotos pallares, that impacted the head of the impostor, carbonizing him completely in 1/2 second.

The body of the deceitful charlatan stayed there, incinerated and petrified, but complete, standing on his own, two feet, rigid, like a provincial policeman.

The neighbors put him on the centre of the town square of Østre Toten, like a statue of crap, becoming a sort of patron saint of the town, because he was touched by the laser of Thor, and the carbonized deceiver is lit by torches all night long.




In seeing [sic] this blue spectacle, from the shores of the fjords, the narwhals announce wisdom to the men in canorous modulations.