El mystery of Aron Cimmermann "The Jew of Gold"

Aron Berenjenal Cimmermann (Grapa, Conn? 1961?) was born in the bosom of a musical family: his mother played the eggs.

At the age of 29 he formed an alternative rock combo called The Phosphorescent Tentempié, where he sang outré Genetic Simmonsex and Juan Ramón covers, with limited success in Conn, Mass, and depopulated areas of Mex.

Every show ended with a grunge version of "El Tío Calambres" during which the guitarist simulated the destruction of his expensive Fender Stratocaster...

... one day, though, after a heavy ingestion of pastillas Valda, the simulacre went too far, and the guitarist -actually- shattered the guitar in pieces, and totally out of control in heavy metal trance, bathed his amplifiers with gasoline and threw a match aka cerilla until everything caught fire, even himself, passing away carbonized live on stage, in front of the astonished stare of the audience (8 people).

After this tragedy Aron Cimmermann disbanded The Phosphorescent Tentempié, changed his name to Alfredo Casero, and recorded a demo vinyl 12'' in 1 day: "Alma de camión", which was sent to several radio stations

the execrable sound quality of the recordings prevented any DJ from playing this mini album, which passed by unnoticed, being sold today on eBay in atrocious prices that escalate to the friolera of 9,000 €.


Cimmermann -now renamed Casero- tried to convince his backing band, the Kerosene Light Orchestra to stay with him, to no avail, because everybody escaped to dedicate their efforts to more remunerative musical activities, like playing banjo on the street as buskers.

Decided to reach an obscene success in the show business, Casero renamed himself as Cimmermann again, and sent 11,700 demos to RCA Victor Sociedad Anónima in the course of nine years, until a manager of the company -probably fed up and desperate- replied to his request, with the following fax:


"My esteemed Aron Sinnerman [sic], we have studied the copious amount of demo tapes, demo mp3's, demo 12''s, demo 8-track cartridges, demo CDs, demo acetates, demo VHSs, demo DVDs, demo Windows Media Audio's, demo reel-to-reel's and demo ogg vorbis's that you sent us, and I'm pleased to announce your imminent debú [sic] as professional singer of international pop "hits" for our excessively prestigious company.
In order to sign a very leonine contract with us and begin the recording sessions, please come to our professional studios, Paco Clavel Street Nº 5, the day 6 of February at 8:00:00:00 PM (punctual), with a professional microphone.

Al Proctor. 
CEO and general manager of RCA Victor Sociedá [sic] Anónima."



Re-baptized this time as Aron Cimmermann "The Jew of Gold", the artist interpreted a tecno-pop cover of the Eurotrash song "Vamos a la playa", whose hit-singel reached the top 8 in Germany, Sweden, Switzerland, Norway, Finland, NeitherLands, Austria and other countries where the people eat potatos galore and speak with their mouths shut... but when the gates of the éxito seemed to welcome Aron Cimmermann with its auric sheets wide open, something strange and atrocious happened:

during an ignited version of "Break It All" at the Riobamba pub, the overpowering feedback or cámara emitted by the speakers created a sort of aural void on the stage, authentical fellatio of decibels that started sucking the body of Cimmermann, making it float in the aïr toward the centre of the fatal vortex... gradually but unavoidably, centimeter to centimeter Aron Cimmermann The Jew of Gold was gravitating closer and closer to the atrocious black hole of noise that awaited for him to devour his flesh, like a giant mouth in the night, but... suddenly, now!

Now?

Now?

Now?

NOW - as if a giant HAND would stop his floating trajectory, the body of the desperate Cimmermann was seen by the stupefied audience detained in the air for a second, fixed motionless in horizontal position, like a dervish who sleeps in levitation




the backing band thought that it was un truc scénique, and kept playing louder and louder in the exact second when Aron Cimmermann The Jew of Gold was -literally- ingested by the ball of noise, disappearing into the lungs of an exponential Peavey amplifier forever.




































1 second later Aron Cimmermann wakes up in his new dimension, where he is a corrupt policewoman in Burzaco.







This story ends here?