Inexplicable story of Iñaki Starosta

Iñaki Starosta in 1981, when almost won "il Giro d'Italia", saluted by the fans. The delirious man with black gloves is the humorist Jorge Corona.

Iñaki Primitivo Starosta Chocolonía was born in Vitoria-Gasteiz, Basque Country, in 1919 (back then called Basconia)
the very start of his life was tragic: Iñaki was born with no legs, a real deformed abortion: un asco

fortunately at the age of six he received a transplant, having a brand new pair of wooden legs (in 1980 were substituted by plastic legs, because the plastic was unknown in the Iberian Peninsula until that year).

As soon as he had his wooden prosthetic legs, in 1925, Iñaki started participating in the Tour de France, il Giro d'Italia and some years later, also la Vuelta a España, the most important and difficult European races: his first Tour de France was in 1925, when he was 6 years old.


Despite his impetus and will, Iñaki Starosta always was -let's agree on this- an absolutely mediocer[sic] cyclist, so that, during all these years in activity (he is 94 and still participates today) Starosta never ever won a race: Iñaki Starosta, the most vetust cyclist ever.

Natural born loser, eternally buried into le peloton, without a lousy triumph  in 89 years of career, Starosta is a real example of fervor and enthusiasm, and an absolute, influential reference for 0 cyclists younger cyclists (all are younger, or dead).

Master of tenacity and longevity, the perseverance of Starosta as the most longevous cyclist ever granted him many nicknames or nombretes: "The Old Fuck", "The Grannie", "La Nona", "El Jubilado", "The Raisin", "Vejestorio", "Methuselah", "Momma" or "Vetustoteles", among others.

Because while others just retired, Iñaki Starosta never contemplated this possibility, or according to his own words:
"I feel insultingly young, how could I retire, when I have 2 or 3 erections in the course of one morning, it's unbearable. I also have boners riding the bicycle, my cock is always erect [...] the doctor told me that this is because I eat much bread."

[sic x 6]


Is a characteristic of this great athlete to cry when every race ends, because he feels a great emotion, but especially because he always ends last, and wants to kill himself

his weeping is often accompanied with bitter reprobative phrases like:

"me caigo y me levanto"
"ay! Hijo de una gran p..."
"Am I shat by the dinosaurs?"
"ME CACHEN DIEZ"
"no hay derecho"

etc.

As a curious apostille, we could mention the opportunity when Starosta, during the Tour de France 1960, lost control over his bicycle, and rushed unintentionally upon the panicked audience, crashing against Charles de Gaulle with lamentable consequences: both de Gaulle and Starosta had to be taken unconscious in ambulance.

Recapitulation and cutting of the crap

Paradigm and holotype to imitate, Iñaki Starosta (94) still mortifies himself today training 14 hours a day at his town in Vitoria-Gasteiz, and he doesn't even need adult diapers.