Richi Blockmore: The man who sold his soul for rock 'N' roll

Richi Aurelio Blockmore (Parsippany, NJ, 1901 / Parsippany, NJ, 2018), was a rock singer who sold his soul for rock 'N' roll to the Debil.

En efecto: the day 5 of August of 2001 -during his 100th birthday party-, listening to Black Sabbath's "We Sold Our Sould for Rock 'n' Roll" (CD provided by his great-great grandson, Rafaello Mimosini), Blockmore felt that a strange entity was possessing his moustache (or mustache), fact that made him shake his white-ish hairs like a raving lunatic: that day, Richi Blackmore, aged one hundred, became a rock singer, by the grace of Lucifer, Lord of the Abysses, after signing a form (or contrato basura) with blood.

And not only this, but also this: Satan made him a wizard, with wand and all, like Jimmy Page or Bobby Liebling.

His first show (or chow) took place in the Paraguayan Pavilion of Parsippany, for ten people (9 of them punch drunk and one reatard), and Blockmore was wearing a Bertin Osborne t-shirt, a clear evidence of his satanic influenx, nonverbal action or gesture that encoded a message: "viva el mal", as he later said, during his deafening cover of Margarito Terere's "Mi abuelo chacarero".

Everything about Richi Blockmore and his band "Wet Alpaca" was heavy, violent, aggressive, anti-Catholic (or Cacholic): example of this is his doom-metal sound, which, according to Aurelio Blockmore, tried to be "the most rotting and unbearable [sic] thing on Earthf [sic]".






Insurmountably [sic] all this vulgar display of power-metal and Andalusian prepotency ended 17 years later, when Satanás El Diablo (or Mandinga) came to take Richi Blockmore soul in a plis-plas, y andá a cantarle a Charles Romuald Gardes.

The stupefact rictus of Richi Blackmore seeing Belzebub a-coming onstage says it all

FOTO:







And Mandinga said "tengasaga mano tallador, me vengo a birlar su almasaga", because Lucifero was speaking in Gasó, a strange dialect from Infernos.
Because Satan is not only taura and smartarse, but also he is a son of 25.000 putas y no se cuida un carajo, he's almost a jubilado from Gijón.


Terrible, terrible story (or history) this, another rock 'N' tragedy, and now Richi Aurelio Blackmore is burning in Hel like a chorizo criollo night and day, is this what you want for you? No? Then take care what you sign with blood, you muppet.