Brunhilda & Montesquieu

Theatrical bagatelle of the ass reduced ad infinitexima in I Act.



 










-Montesquieu
"Aye, aye, enough with this... fuuuu, I've had a day of the ass today, aye, mierda, aye!"

-Brun(h)ilda
"What's all that moan and groam and noiseam and grossean that my ears are earing? Is that you Montesq..?"

-M
"Bufff, it's me, Yes, buffff... bufff...
I came back home earlier this evening... buffff... but why did you ask if it was me? Who else could be..?"

-B
"I just asked... what's wrong?
I don't know why I asked."

-M
"Brunilda..."

-B
"What?"

-M
"BRUN(H)ILDA!"

-B
"WHAT!"

-M
"You don't have a secret lover isn't?"

-B
"What the fuck..?"

-M
"Swear it! Swear it!"

-B
"Montesquieu, my dear, what the aye is wronge with you?
What the feck? 
You've been drinking again, isn't?"

-M
"WHY DON'T YOU SWEAR YOU DON'T HAVE A SECRET LOVER, MULIER??!
YOU SEE IT'S VERY SUSPICIOUS! DO YOU?"

-B
"I don't need to swear anything, my esteemed Montesquieu of the ass, I'm not a slute, like those putas that you know, end of the story."

-M
"No, no! Swear it, you whore! Putana! 
Baaaaa!"

-B
"Montesquieu, mammering fool-born joithead, I'll demonstrate you I'm not seeing any lover, love of mine: fuck me, fuck me here and now, you onion-eyed miscreant, standing with mine buttocks in your hands against this walle, you'll see that all mine ardor is unused, conserved for you, stupid turd-haired dolt, fuck me! Fuck me, son of bitch! Fuck me if you're normaaal!"

-M
"Mmmmbbbb oooohhh Brunilda, Brun(h)ilda, dirty cocksucker... you know how to get me hote, you beloved slute of mine! 

Mmmmmbbbb oooohh Brrunildaah come, come to my cock, reventada hija de puta!

Mmmmmbbb ooooh Cockilda, I'm gonna fuck you here and now, standing with your buttocks in mine hands against this walle, I'll see that all your ardor is unused, conserved for meeee! Bufffffff...


[Twatilda mounts on Montesquieu who inserts his tremulous phallus into her cuntesque twat, standing suspended in the air with her buttocks in his handes against the walle, as she rides the cocke in a spasmodic and frenzied to-and-fro, screaming out loud an assorted thread of incomprehensible, passional and unidimensional exclamations]

-B
"Fuck, fuck! Mmmm, FUCK! The cock! Fuck me with your cock, fuck, fuck, FUCK! THE COCK, FUCK, FUCK ME AASSS, FUCK!"

-M
"Mmmmbbbb oooohhh Brunilda, Brunilda, you vain ill-nurtured strumpet, you dirty cocksucker!

Mmmmbbbb oooohhh Brenilda, Branilda! Brinildi!"

-B
"Mmmm fuck motherfucker! Fuck! Fuck! Ahhhh AAAAAHHHH FUCK FUCK BASTARD OF THE ASS, YOU TICKLE-BRAINED LOUT, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!"


[In the middle of the animal passion, completely blind and deaf by the pleasure, Vergilda & Montesquieu didn't realize, but 3 police officers tore down the door and appeared in the living room, where the ignited amatory scene was taking place]

-Policeman
"Cough! Ahem... an anonymous call mentioned a homicide, which possibly was happening here..."

-B
"FUCK, FUCK, FUCK MOTHERFUCKER, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!"

-Policeman
"AHEM..!
MADAM... GENTLEMAN... COULD YOU STOP YOUR... EXERCISE FOR A MOMENT? WE ARE POLICE OFFIC... "

-B
"FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, AAAAAAHHHIIIIAAAAHH, AHHHHHH, AHHHHH, AHHHH! FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK ME THE ASS, FUCK ME ANYTHIIING, FUCK it PLEASEEE!"




[As Brunilda an Montesquieu get separated by means of flamethrower, hammer and chisel, they are transported toward la comisaría of their town: Villarubia de los Ojos, where an interrogation takes place.
Seven hours later, at 2 AM, they are released and return home walking through the desert streets of Villarubia de los Ojos crestfallen like two mamertos]


-Montesquieu
"Brunilda..?"

-Brun(h)ilda
"What."

-M
"You... you do-don't have a lo-lover, isn't?"

-B
"Montesquieu... please... will you go on with this?"

-M
"Brunilda... "

-B
"WHAT!"

-M
"Marry me."

-B
"What the fuck?"

-M
"Marry me, you chinless slut! MARRY ME, MIERDA..!"

-B
"Montesquieu, I can't marry you, I'm married, we are Chatolic country."

-M
"Fuck! DAMN! DAMM! DANM!"

-B
"Besides, even if we were in country of Protestant pigs, my husband never, never, never would give me the divorce, Montesquieu. Never, ever."

-M
"Damn, FUCK! BUFFFF... "

-B
"Could you please calm the fuck down Montesquieu? We are in the middle of the street at 2 AM, stop shouting, you unmuzzled fat-kidneyed oaf!"

-M
"I SEE, I SEE NOW! YOU SURELY CHEAT ON ME WITH YOUR HUSBAND, DON'T YOU? DON'T YOU! PUTA! PUTA! PUTAAAAAAAA!!!"

-B
"SHUT UP MONTESQUIEU, YOU ARE A RAVING LUNATIC! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!"

-M
"SWEAR IT!
SWEAR IT!
WHORE!
WHORE!"

[A sudden silence appears between Montesquieu and Shaftilda, while they keep walking all over town at 2 AM, like two rustics of the ass.
His stare is full of rancour, jealousy and undiminished hate, while she is looking at the dirty sidewalk, seeing the paces of her little feet, submersed in deep cavilations]

-Brunilda
"Montesquieu..?"

-Montesquieu
"WHAT."

-B
"I... 
I will tell you all the truth. 
I never cheated on you with my husband... I... I just... "

-M
"Well..?"

-B
"I just cheated on you twice, with the provost of Chantillý... and twice, with the bishop of Tordesillas, Monsignor Laguna.
And twice with Cardinal Berlusconez... 
... just those six times, and never ever again. 
NEVER!"

-M
"Really..?"

-B
"I SWEAR IT MONTESQUIEU! I SWEAR IT!"

-M
"You never cheated on me with your husband? Never? At all?"

-B
"NEVER MONTESQUIEU! NEVER AT ALL! 
JAMÁS! JAMÁS!"

-M
"Oh... Brunilda..."

-B
"What, Montesquieu?"

-M
"I feel so embarrassed I distrusted you... 
I'm a monster... sniff... 
BRUNILDA MY LOVE, EXCUSE ME PLEASE! 
SNIFF... BRUNILDA! BRUNILDA..!"

-B
"Montesquieu! MONTESQUIEU! 
SNIFF... MONTESQ... "

-M
"BRUNILDA... SNIFF... BRUNILDA!"

-B
"MY ADULTERY IS HONEST, MONTESQUIEU! SNIFF! 
WHY DID YOU MISTRUST ME! WHY!"

-M
"I AM SO SORRY WANKILDA, MY SWEETHEART! 
I'M AN OGRE, AN OGER... A BEAST! A BEETLE-HEADED CAITIFF, THAT'S WHAT I AM!
THE WORST, I AM THE WORST! CHASTISE ME BRINILDA, PLEASE! PUNISH ME! I DESERVE IT! SNIFF! SNIFF!"

-B
"OK MONTESQUIEU! I WILL punish you... "

-M
"The occasion requires it, Bronilda... I deserv... "

-B
"... Montesquieu..?"

-M
"Yes..?"

-B
"Strap-on dildo..?"

-M
"Y-yes... yes Brinulda, whatever you say... "

-B
"The big one, Montesquieu... the biggest one... will you stand ok..?"

-M
"Yes, don't worry, you give me, give me like a male."

-B
"Hum... just one more thing Montesquieu... "

-M
"W-what."

-B
"My stockings and one of my mini skirts... you can't refuse tonight Montesquieu, you offended me... "

-M
"Ok. O-ok. Yes... y-your stockings and mi-mini skirt."

-B
"Will you scream 'I'm your slut', Montesquieu?
You can't refuse tonight... "

-M
"Ok, I'll scream 'I'm your slut' for you, Cumilda."

-B
"Out loud?"

-M
"Yes, o-out loud... "

-B
"... And will you suck the rubber balls of my dildo, Montesquieu?
As if I was your boyfriend? Those rubber balls as big as red apples, and then stand the 49 cm. of my rubber cock complete into your rectum, Montesquieu? 
49 cm. of rubber sex buried into your anal tract Montesquieu, fucking you insanely, almost touching your ribs.
You can't refuse tonight, Montesquieu... "

-M
"Yes Brunilda, a-as if you were my boyfriend... 49 cm. c-com... complete... "

-B
"I love you Montesquieu... "

-M
"And I love you too Bro-bronalda."