The animalized archpriest

Once the Archpriest de Hita (1284?-1351?) ended the manuscripts of his volume "Libro de bven amor" (Book of Good Love) in 13..? (composed by request of Camerón Salsipuedes, majordomo of the king Alfonso XI "The Just") He started a second "Libro de bven amor", although the theme of this second fascicle was degenerate and lewd.

De Hita used the emoluments received in gold by the majordomo to print this hidden book, whose first 25 copies were confected in excessively heavy and hard covers of wood (quebracho colorado), so that the weight of every book was approximately 9 kilos, exemplars that today belong to the profound camp of the incunabula.

The Archpriest did all this in the clandestine shadows of the secrecy, eluding the censorship of the imprimatur, necessary scrutiny and -if the text was decent-, license, sanctioned by a competent prelate, license that any book needed to be published with decorum.




In this dangerous task -which was absolutely illegal- the Archpriest was helped by a certain Joan Minglanilla, amoral Catalan aristocrat who used to read -and write himself- varied sorts of pornography.

20 out of the 25 first copies were given to Minglanilla, who distributed them among his libertine friends... and in fact, de Hita -who was a cleric himself- he was becoming gradually immoral as the years went by and, despite he feared to burn in the wooden retables of Hell[sic], the passion won over his flesh when he became infatuated by Violante Gayoso (or Violant Gay), who was 15 years old.

This lass, or nenna, she was ensnared by de Hita one torrid afternoon when both were at the church in Bilbau (other source indicates that it was in Toulouse or Yórk), when de Hita had access to the fruit of her flesh, thanks to false promise of love and marriage.[veracity disputed]

The behavior of de Hita shifted, from a well-respected and slightly pedantic moralist, into a lascivious pornographer in a few months, and his fleshes burned every nighte thinking about this daughter's nates, and he fell into the impure habit of the masturbation, which was described in his "Book of Good Love II" as onanism, text in which de Hita depicts how himself cums and the spermatic shot flies in the airs and splashes the walls of his alcove with glorious parabola.




The pages of the depraved textbook were replete of vivid specifications about every cavity and peculiar physiological mechanism of Violante Gayoso, accompanied by her responses to the sexual stimuli, for instance the process of her vulva getting gradually moisturized while de Hita introduced two fingers in her anal circumference... or the way how her lips trembled emitting a curious fricative sigh when she reached the heights of an orgasm -suggested as a chained or multiple series of orgasms by de Hita, although this assertion still is matter of discussion-, besides certain recurrent fixations of this peri, like her particular delight on the act of the titfuck or mammary masturbation, during which, and according to the literal words of the Archpriest

"... but the phallus, it was sliding repeatedly on olive oil through her tits, event that -for my surprise- provoked a near climax sensation, with vaginal muscular contraction almost coming[sic] and alarming erection of the nipples of hers. 
In fact the arousal caused by the shaft of the dick fucking her melons turned out to be almost as intense as the digital or lingual contact with the clitoris, which looked to me like a deviation, reinforcing this way my own ardor."




The Archpriest mentions -without mentioning him- a third personage who is present in the fornicating theater... a third individual who appears on the narration (another cleric?)... maybe a twist in the tale, maybe the unexpected hand of fate
or maybe, simply, the unavoidable derivation of the dissoluteness:

the script revealed, almost photographically, how both, the Archpriest and the unnamed guest penetrated the anal tube of Violant Gay, because the adolescent nymph needed two cocks in her anus at the same time to make her pronounce dirty word.[interpolated segment]

During the last page, de Hita narrates how the mouth of Violante Gayoso was stuffed with both vergas which blowed in cum simultaneously, but these vicious adventures ended with de Hita in jail, when one of the copies fell in hands of the Archbishop of Toledo, Gil Leblanc:

in the dungeons, the Archpriest was forced to execute terrible penal labours, and weekly exposed to a punishment called garrote vil (vile stick), during which the obscene Archpriest was mercilessly beaten until exhaustion, and is at this point in time when his life disappears from the account of the man; and every copy of the book disappears with him.





Apparently, after an equivocal missive sent by de Hita to Leblanc from his jails -equivocal or too frank and candid-, the Archpriest was freed, escaping dressed with feminine clothings through the street haze of a December night.

A second possibility states that, after the imprudent letter, the Archpriest was burned "like earthly prelude to his real and definitive combustion in the Hades", as it was announced on a succinct pamphlet read before the execution. On the bill of indictment de Hita would have been accused of 12 crimes against the chastity (5 of them deemed villainy), 88 mortal sins, "Inverted imagery" and "divulgation of repugnant chimeras" (quimeras inmundas).














The populace assures and affirms over and over again that, in the December starry nights, before or after Christmas -but never during-, the macilent silhouette of the Archpriest de Hita burning in the sky it's visualized through the telescopes of Castile.

And as the Archpriest burns, in the blaze of his own tendons twisted in furious delight, among the mechanical atrocities of Capricorn, the watery planet of Jesus Christ supervises the telestial expansion, and all the injustices, and all the lies, and all the betrayals, and all the horror with enormous eyes of love -or maybe bread- fixed on the humane episodes.