Life of Caballasca

This is the long story short of a man, yes a man, or a horso gone bad... an abortion engendered in the smiling and milky lands of Galicia, in Spain... some say that the society made him bad, but I think that he was (is?) slave of a brutal cerebrum, encapsulated in his little cranium of man-horse or vice-versa... and in fact his deformness[sic] is the consequence of the trigamy, yes: his father was a real Bluebeard, he was married to 3 women, and Palmiro was born from 3 wombs:

born with 4 legs... or 2 legs and 4 arms, the life of Palmiro Rudecindo Bruto Zoilo Elbis Cavallasca: a martyrdom from the beginning, una porquería.



His first seconds of life were tragic:
his 3 mothers horripilated for the monstrosity of a bearded baby-horse that they just gave birth, tried to throw Palmiro Caballasqa into the trash compactor or incinerador of the hospital, fortunately -or not- a muscular nurse intercepted them and stopped them by means of a violent set of punches and kicks, because in Galicia the nurses are bodybuilders

the arms-legs of Palmiro were a puke-inducing deformity, and his hands were like those of a frog or sapo, a half of his body was human (although not too normal), and the other half was horse-like and furry, his ears were like two orejones, and he had 4 buttocks: 2 human and 2 equine, besides two navels, and a nauseating smell.

Alarmed, his 4 parents decided to keep him captive in the cellar forever, the neighbors and their relatives shouldn't see this abomination of the nature.

The mind of Palmiro Caballasca was too obtuse to speak, though he learned some few words, like ajó-ajó or teta.
The baby grew too much too soon, and when he was 3 years old already was bigger and taller than his father, Ramiro Cavallasca Rajoy, an the stature of Cavallasca Rajoy scratched the 2m. and 60cm, because he was a basketball player for Caixa Cambados

but Palmiro never stopped growing and soon his parents had to let him go out of the cellar, because it was too small for his colossal torso:
Palmiro Cadillasca went totally bananas, broke the door and escaped from the house, scaring the neighborhood to death 

just 15 years old and Palmiro Cawallasca became a social misfit with delinquent tendencies, a fucking punk, and acquired all the vices (putas, whiskey, gamble, bodka, marijuana, cocaína, láudano, bets, orgies, coprophagy, pornografía, morphinomania, fiscal fraud, voyeurism), because he was a centaur, and a centaur is vicious and brutal, and Palmiro Caballasca was naked among the people, families, and the parents had to explain to their children why Caballasca showed his balls and his verga, and the pacifical inhabitants of Vilagarcia de Arousa were panicked with this lecherous monster of the mythology walking by their streets tetra brik in hand, committing burglary, laughing out loud, extracting illegally coins from the public telephones, touching the butt of the damsels, and stealing chourizo and viño Don Simón at "Mercadona" and "DIA %"; and la Guardia Civil feared him, because Palmiro Cavallasca was 8 metres tall and had a flamethrower and a harpoon.

But, my friends, you know that for a felon, his infractions never are enough so, encouraged, and more than encouraged inflamed for his impune crimes, Palmiro decided to expand his misconduct beyond the Pyrenees

effectively: after a session of oruxo (11 litres), invigorated by the vile alcohol, Caballasca initiated velocious race through the Cantabrian coast, passing by the nebulous Asturies, country of ogres and witches, Cantabria, inhabited by gnomes and gold, and finally arriving at the rainy jungles of the Basque Country, homeland of the rancid men-tree, and the appalling Marañaza, titanic and undead bolus of fecal matter with thin spider legs living in his own dome called Pastelarium



and I swear, and swear that in his headlong race, Palmiro Caballasca moved his 4 legs... or 2 legs and 4 arms like helixes of the hellachopter of Pierce Brosnan in "The World Is Not Enough":

the outcome of this brainless behavior was as unavoidable as imminent:
crossing the Spanish-French border at Irun, Cavallasca entered the town of Hendaye, in Bayonne, and, ironically, stole 10 chorizos at Carrefour using a bayonet.


After this transgression Palmiro Kaballaska tried to escape to Spain, and crossed the bridge Hendaye-Irun with ferocious gallop with la Gendarmerie and la Ertzaintza pursuing him, and the thread of chorizos hanging from his mouth: savage trophy of a savage:

the officer Iñaki Urdangarin, expert in equitation pursued him on a motorcycle and, in reckless manoeuvre, jumped on the quadruped, riding him with the help of reins, saddle and spurs
maddened and furious, Palmiro Catallasca tried to get rid of his uncalled-for rider with frenzied bucks, arching his equine back like a tortured percheron, but it was in vain: Urdangarin resisted with determination the brutal bucks of the man-horse, holding the reins with authority, and riding him with agility, like a gaûcho from Rio Grande do Sul, or like John Wayne in "The Alamo".

The epilogue for Caballasca was pathetic: obeying to his instinct of equus caballus, Palmiro Qavallazca simply turned into another normal tamed horse: he couldn't contradict his own nature, and succumbed to the equestrian domination of Iñaki Undargarin.


Today, his parents visit him at the stable of the jail of Irun, once a month, to see him run and eat his alfalfa and, occasionally, some chourizos. I think that Palmiro Caballasca will pay for his misdemeanours until he becomes a honorable horse, a reputable pinto or tordillo useful for the society, otherwise, and if he persists in his violations, he's going to end served at some Belgian or Italian restaurant.