This is the romance of Cachavacha, the witch and Astroinfierno, the monster man, and how it got truncated, started the sadness, and a few more things...

On the muddy streets of Ciudad Lineal, Cachavacha the witch, and Astroinfierno, the monster man, they used to walk.

Muddy I said? More like cement-like, the streets were

and are, because Ciudad Lineal still exists, at the outskirts of Magerit, city created by means of a super ordenador, also called the "Very beloved town by swineherds and bears".

The 7 of January of 1991, both saw each other face to face, and they realized that they were monsters

this spiritual identification made them marry, the next day, 8 of January of 1991, at 10:00:00 AM, at the cathedral of the Armed Forces, in Sacramento Street Nº 11, zip: 28005, cursed church because there, precisely, the king Carlos II, The Bewitched, acquired elephantiasis in 1770, during the mass, and died brusquely two days later.

The life for Cachavacha and Astroinfierno was a hell since the first day living together, their home, became a horryd mouthall*

he deplored her habit of smoking Cuban cigars, which left the house totally buried in a dense curtain of smoke for hours

she detested his alcoholism, and how he used to drink, approximately, 10 or 17 tetra brik's of La Mancha wine per day.


Long story short: during a show of the rococó heavy metal band Medina Azahara that both attended, crazed for the decibels and the elephantial riffs, Astroinfierno slapped Cachavacha in the face, and finally broke a bottle of Argentine beer (Quilmes) on her head, in a stupor of alcoholic aggression

he chose Quilmes fascinated by the brainless advertising, seen on a satellital TV Salora Super Color 1980

Cachavacha lost consciousness for the impact, falling on the floor with the heavy abandon of a bag full of Polish potatoes:
in a next sequence someone dials 112 and Cachavacha is transported in ambulance, tranced in comatose cerebral thrombosis.

Once recovered, Cachavacha demanded divorce, and went to live in the zone called Malasaña, at the cellar house of her mother, who was a gypsy tarot woman with a hunch on her back

though, that red hair gypsy woman with her nose full of warts, in fact, was not her mom

because Cachavacha was raised by a toothless, bearded hag
and she was schooled with a strap right across her back

but it's all right now
in fact it's a gas
yeah, it's all right, now
Jumpin' Jack Flash is a gas, gas, gas.



Dear reader, my despiser, this is how the romance of Cachavacha, the witch, and Astroinfierno, the monster man got truncated, started the sadness, and a few more things...

...by those wet sidewalks, by those grey arrondissements.







...Because the heart is a gypsy...































*nonexistent word.