England News

 page 5

"The Cant Journal", London, Friday 6 of January of 2012

"Our youth is degenerating", by Benny Hill

(London, AP) 
During the last hours was verified an immense ADULTERER act of orgiastic dimensions on the central streets of London, in fact, a huge human mountain was fornicating like Italians over Quee Street, near to Kolynos Square, in a really shameful and obnoxious deed.

The police informed that around the 1.900 hours [GMT] baffled aged neighbours started hearing sighs coming from teh sidewalks, when these pacific neighbours observed through their windows, they could appreciate a dantesque panorama: around 195 adolescents were plainly fornicating all over the sidewalk, and in front of the stupidised stare of mothers with their children in scholar age, who passed by.

47 patrol cars were promptly dispatched to the zone to attempting to reinstate order and decency, also 10 trucks of the fire brigade were sent, and an exorcist was sent by the archbishop of Cantórbery, who rapidly ran towards the incestuous place. (sic)

The 'party' ended with everyone in jail, even the exorcist, who was taken for a thief, due to his strange face.

After the event, dozens of neighbours full of indignation built a barricade on the street, with the sad result of riots, incendies, and protests 'a la française' including the public carbonisation of 23 Muslim neighbours of the area: the whole disorder was quenched by the natural elements due to an unstoppable tsunami coming from Europa (sic) direction south/north/east/west, the high marine waves caused a semi-earthquake, that almost fucked up the local chapel, and both pubs of the street: 'Bubblicious' and 'Batman'.

The parents of the rebel teenagers were charged with fines. 
For today was organized a demonstration of naked cyclists in a near park, as symbolic protest, also there will be a little show featuring the clowns 'Cucusita & Fridgehead' who will distribute free condoms.


(AP)