"Sometimes the reality acquires rare characteristics, becoming more bizarre than the reality, only because the amplitude and possibilities of the reality and its plausible ricochets are as multiple as the possible directions that the flight of a fly can acquire escaping the criminal Baygon."
(Michel Platini)
IN TIMES when the USSR -also known as CCCP- became a chaotic structure, condemned to succumb ignominiously, because the Communism was not cool anymore, still the Politburo decided to send a brand new rocket (they call it navy) to the aerial celestialities, it was the Soyuz 28, secretly ejected from some secret place, somewhere in Siberia, one day of 1989.
Siberia was a zone where (some people say) the Communists stored extraterrestrial beings.
Some had speculated about this possibility.
Even, some say that the Communists had an extraterrestrial beast stored in an hangar sub zero, a giant beast, like a glyptodon, a sort of enormous marmot.
Besides several intelligent specimens. [citacion needed]
The chosen astronaut to be sent to the cosmos was Ilya Sofovich Chechile, mythic cosmonaut, paladin during the Cold War, and the Space Race, sent many times to Venus, and to Ronova.
Ilya Chechile was a very convenient astronaut, because he knew how to shun cosmic garbage, avoiding the rocket to collide, and he could spend 5 days without food, or eating paper cardboard only.
Besides these anomalies, he could enlarge the size of his lungs at prodigious percentages, and could endure 6 hours without breathing.
The last "Soyuz" was ejected finally, in 1989, with destination Mars, the day is secret.
The first stages of the flight reached the Moon, place where Ilya Chechile ate a sandwich (sánguche), and had a session in the masturbation machine the orgasmatron, a rocambolesque oval apparatus, like a silvery egg of pleasure, created by the perverted minds of the USSR to alleviate the sexual ardor of the cosmonauts.
The orgasmatron was immense, and produced a bit of smoke when the user reached an orgasm, and it also emitted an insurmountable noise.
Sorry, I wanted to say insupportable.
During the traject toward planetoid LilliPuta, there were interferences in the communication Moscow-Chechile, the only audible noise in the line was the song "Planet Earth" by Duran Duran, some say that this phenomenon was produced by means of German magnetic fields, others blame the Vatican, and the campaign of Pope John Paul II to end with Communism, and install his idea of Slav Capitalism, which would start in Poland, and extend its influence over Russia.
The path of Ilya Chechile among the stars was deviated by his own decision, and simple disobedience, the mission was monitored from the headquarters of the Russian Aviation and Space Agency, which was either in the Moscow suburbs, or in the cellar of the Kremlin... as soon as Chechile was about to reach Mars, the course of the last "Soyuz" shifted, in north-south direction, thanks to an insane manoeuvre, Chechile announced he would fly to Sirius now, he shouted and cut the communication, while the engineers in Moscow still tried to convince him to reconsider his insane behavior.
The Chechile's cosmic tour started getting complicated near Hermione, where he had to land by force, because his Soyuz consumed all the combustible. In fact the engineers only calculated the combustible to go to Mars, and return to Earth.
Hermione was an extremely small and hot moon, populated by women, the Chechile's Soyuz landed on an arid plain, close to a city, which was a silicon dome; the Hermionites were wild and unwelcoming, and started attacking Chechile with bow and arrow, Ilya Chechile, after a soft landing, stolid, he just dressed his body with a weird tunic, and descended from his rocket, with the majesty of an esoteric Babylonian priest, with open arms, like a prophet of dementia, accompanied by his two Russian dogs.
The wild naked women of Hermione got impressed by that apparition, during a moment they got frozen, petrified in hörrör, but they were savage, like the Amazons of the Greek fable, and nothing amazed them, so quickly they started throwing their poisoned arrows at Chechile again:
Ilya Sofovich Chechile appealed to a spectacular shield, built in bakelite, that he handled with prodigious centripetal movements, avoiding the poisoned projectiles, it was like a diluvium of lethal arrows, all falling at high speed on Ilya Chechile, who rejected all the projectiles with authority, and finally, by means of a megaphone, demanded conference with the Hermionites' leader... his voice sounded stentorian and metallic.
It's unknown in which ïdiom he spoke these words.
An anonymous voice come from somewhere commanded those untamed Amazons to stop attacking, and finally the leader -Leia Orgasma- communicated with Chechile, by means of body gestures and sexual movements: she warned Chechile he would be captured, chained, and trainspotted to the dome, to serve her
responding to his machista genes, Chechile rejected this menace with a bitter sarcasm, but he was captured anyway, and trainspotted to the dome into a cage for Pekinese dogs.
The Amazons slaughtered the Chechile's dogs (Chekhov & Pavlov), and bathed their naked bodies with the canine blood, screaming like possessed...II)
As soon as Chechile entered the criminal city of the Hermionites, he realized that every woman had a male slave, to serve her for sex and insemination, unlike Russia, in Hermione they hadn't morals, and the sex slaves were obliged to cunnilingus and fuck their masters on the sidewalks, or anywhere else: it was the mid-day when Ilya Chechile was trainspotted, into a cage for Pekinese dogs, to the Leia Orgasma's manor, under an ardent sun that was not terrestrial.
Once in the manor, Lady Orgasma obliged Chechile to cunnilingus and fuck her, she wanted anal, and tittyfuck too
after höurs of massive fucking, cunnilingus and blowjobbing, Ilya Chechile was exhausted, but he was commanded to fuck the Lady Orgasma's maiden servants, and her 55 sisters too.
Ilya Sofovich Chechile still had a radiocall transmissor, and he tried to communicate with Moscow, he was lucky during his first day serving Lady Orgasma she didn't decide to give him an analingus, because the radiocall was his only hope, and he had the device occult in his anus, and she would discover it.
Finally, in January 1, 1990, Chechile could communicate with the engineers, but they said that they could not send an auxiliar rocket to save him, because the USSR was being currently dismantled. They said that maybe he could be rescued in 1995, or even in 1998 or 1999, so he begged to talk with Gorbachev, but they said he was currently in his vacation in Copacabana, so he should wait until the next month.
Four days later, Chechile was caught trying to steal combustible in a hangar, and Lady Orgasma punished him with a heavy session of fucking and sucking which lasted 29 hours non-stop, and then, due to the insatiable ardor of Orgasma, she demanded many days of massive cunnilingus, and the Chechile's lips and tongue were inflamed, then he was sent to a freezer for cell regeneration.
Lady Orgasma's fucking fever hurried his regeneration, because she wanted a new anal and vaginal marathon
exhausted and dried Ilya Chechile collapsed, because he hadn't more cum, and had to be sent to the small and only hospital of Hermione with a permanent erection, in vegetative state of satyriasis.
During his third day in the hospital, Chechile could escape, in audacious move he ran to the hangars and stole combustible enough to reach Sirius:
Lady Orgasma and her galactial nymphomaniac archeresses pursued him, throwing poisoned arrows again, but Chechile found refuge in his rocket, abandoned out of the city-dome, filling the engines with combustible from his cabinet.
Immediately the last Soyuz was taking off, and leaving the hot moon called Hermione definitely, under a diluvium of arrows.
Many were his adventures, for example in Bruta-Vu, the land of the daughters and sons of the Demon, where Chechile spent 2 infernal years, or in the satellite Impur-X, amoral land of the 2-clitored women, or in Nebbia-L, the foggy planetoid where nothing is as it seems, and many other places he visited, including his incredible return to Hermione, land of Lady Orgasma, but it can't be said here.
No one knows if Ilya Sofovich Chechile arrived to Sirius, or if he is somewhere, in this Universe, or in another.
Or if he could be around you corner, tonight, when the midnight wind starts blowing the litter of your street away.
Away
away.
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